Polishing off the French … or maybe not

I’m not particularly interested in any sporting activities if I’m honest but there are two events I always try to immerse myself in, as least as much as my limited enthusiasm for sport will allow. One is the Olympic Women’s Beach Volleyball competition which I only watch because I spent the first fifty years of …

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A Walk with Gentleman George

Though summer in Lancashire is often the best week of the year, Spring is the most splendid season of the year in my most humble opinion. This being the case, it will be of no surprise to you that I hath recently started to take the air on a more frequent basis, almost once a …

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Pothole problem to be swept, quite literally, under a carpet

Carpeting the town’s roads might be cheaper than fixing them … and might last longer too! That’s the shocking conclusion council bosses have come to after a two-year investigation into possible solutions to the town’s pothole plague. The council’s Head of Ideas, Mr. Arthur Clew, was good enough to meet with Aintright. Over a couple …

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The Highs and Lows of Chocolate

Sometimes in life the right things just happen to come together at exactly the right time. So, it was this year when the manufacturers of Viagra and ClearBlue Pregnancy Testing Kits both sought to sponsor balloon rides over this year’s Chocolate Festival. The symbiosis between the two would-be sponsors was obvious to the festival planners. …

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Ode to a New Love – The Doghouse Blues – Part 2

  Back in The Doghouse, Saturday night, The Beast from the East, Had started a fight.   Freezing cold, my glasses misting, My black coat white with snow, I had started slightly listing, Why? I guess you'll know.   A little Mexican worm called out, I heard it from afar, My favourite liqueur awaited me, …

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Advertising Feature – Tinder Egg

  Only £2.99 Contents: Name and address of random female sexual predator/weirdo/player (within 10 miles) Name and address of random male sexual predator/weirdo/player (within 100 yards) 1 x Genuine Condom 1 x Plastic Whistle 1 x Paper Tissue (useful if your date has gone either very well or very badly) 1 Genuine-looking diamond ring* *Genuine-looking …

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