Sorted

Sorted.

Why does it always rain on you?

Dear Mr. Travis, I was standing in the Co-op the other day with my plastic basket full of goodies when one of your songs was played across the shop's speaker system. 'Why does it always rain on me?' you were asking. I could have asked myself the same question as it was raining at the …

Bugger me! That’s not true is it? #13

Pointless co-host, Richard Osman, is so tall he accidentally appears in almost every TV programme. 

Trees company .. but three’s …

Aintright has learned that the local council have been made to rethink their entire environmental strategy after making an astonishing blunder. It seems that an area of local Green Belt land was accidentally turned to mud after the man in charge of protecting our green spaces, Mr. Heath Van Dal, a keen practitioner of the …

Hmmm.

 

Aintright’s Easter Miracle

It is, by far, the most appropriate weekend of the year to be celebrating a miracle and, this morning, Aintright has one of his own to crow about. It was around 1:00am this morning that Aintright finally reached the conclusion that ‘Red Dawn’ was one of the worst movies he’d ever watched. Annoyed that he’d …

“Ta. Lol” says troll.

Aintright was contacted by the Waterside troll recently who asked him to pass on a message of thanks to the local community for their support. He has had a rather traumatic few months what with the river getting pretty high again and lots of building work going on right outside his house. He is delighted …

Rain on the brain

With the rain still falling, Aintright has learned that the council are taking extreme measures to deal with the situation. Over a pint of Milkmaid’s Delight, a delicious little craft ale with hints of freshly mown grass, hay and E45 cream, he had a chat with Brian Dooly, his contact in the Water Emergency Team …

Aintright’s Astrological Awareness

Aries (The Ram) - Mar 21st to Apr 19th. If you were born under this sign of the zodiac you are very likely to be vegetarian. You are gregarious and just love being surrounded by other like-minded people. You may be afraid of dogs, especially Border Collies, and you have a tendency to follow the …

Advertising Feature – Kak Bat

You may have heard that a Conservative MP will be recommending the 'stick-n-flick' method of dog waste disposal when Parliament debate how to deal with the increasing volume of plastic bags filled with dog poop blighting our countryside, often hung from trees. As you would expect, Summerseat Home Improvement Team have anticipated this and have …

Shhh!

So it's Oscars time again. Watching the news the other day, Aintright learned that the new pound coin is engraved with micro lettering which is barely visible to the naked eye. Apparently, this is just one of a number of new features designed to make the coin much more difficult to forge than the existing …

Not looking up then …

There's been an alarming increase in the number of shops and businesses closing down in the area of late. It's not all doom and gloom though. Aintright has learned that Ramsbottom will soon have a fourth supermarket. Waitrose are planning a new development as soon as they can find a suitable location. They have been …

Doris has her Day

So Doris has been and gone leaving a trail of destruction behind her. Trees are down all over the area; fence panels have been flattened; some people have no wheelie bins while others suddenly have ten each and sheep were seen blowing across the hills like tumbleweed. Spare a thought for the good folk of …

Well blow me down …

Never mind your wheelie bins and fence panels. ... spare a thought for the sheep! Picture copyright Matt Lively  

How to handle the poo problem

It's a tricky decision isn't it? Your dog's got to go when he's got to go but you're either too lazy to pick it up and dispose of it properly, or the very thought of handling poo, even through a plastic bag, makes you gag. At the same time, you're worried about being shopped by …